“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
— Dorothy Parker“Razors pain you,Rivers are damp,Acids stain you,And drugs cause cramp.Guns aren't lawful,Nooses give,Gas smells awful.You might as well live.”
— Dorothy Parker“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
— Dorothy Parker“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”
— Dorothy Parker“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
— Dorothy Parker“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”
— Dorothy Parker“If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)”
— Dorothy Parker