Quotes on funny

“I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?”

Stephanie Lennox

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

Will Rogers

“Can you be a girl for a few seconds?I'm always a girl I frown.You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girlI twirl my hair around my finger. Kay.”

Veronica Roth

“Nice costume, he said. Ditto. I can tell you put a lot of thought into yours.Amusement curled his mouth. If you don't like it, I can take it off.”

Becca Fitzpatrick

“Maybe you could be mine / or maybe we’ll be entwined / aimless in this sexless foreplay.”

Jess C Scott

“She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.”

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.”

Dora J. Arod

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal. ”

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. ”

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.”

Jess C Scott

“I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up.”

Dora J. Arod

“Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not we love each other, it's just fuck it, man.”

Louis C.K.

“I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald.”

Nicole McKay

“I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.”

Michael Summers

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. ”

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“I had a dream about you last night... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs.”

Amy Summers

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

Mark Twain

“A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement”

Jess C Scott

“Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.Good things come to those who wait.”

Jess C. Scott

“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”

Criss Jami

“V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love.”

Jess C Scott

“If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked.”

Gilles Deleuze

“Are you a female dog?What? Massie asked. Why?Because you are acting like a real ”

Lisi Harrison

“Isabelle snorted, All the boys gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.You noticed, said Simon. I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual, added Magnus. Please never say those words in front of my parents, said Alec.”

Cassandra Clare

“I have to return some videotapes”

Bret Easton Ellis

“Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody's life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I'm all yers.”

Moira Young

“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder. ”

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.”

Charles Bukowski

“The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.”

Cervantes Saavedra

“I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.”

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.”

Demetri Martin

“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

Keisha Keenleyside

“She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you know, better.Define BETTER with that guy.Not all fangs and raaaaar.”

Rachel Caine

“Some stories have to be written because no one would believe the absurdity of it all.”

Shannon L. Alder

“Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that.”

Rachel Caine

“Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.”

Anonymous

“Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun?”

P.C. Cast

“Hey, yummy leather guy? Can you hear me? (Amanda)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much.”

Criss Jami

“To be, or not to be: what a question!”

E.A. Bucchianeri

“Do you know where your breakthrough begins? Your breakthrough begins where your excuses ends.”

Patience Johnson

“Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways. ~ Amunhotep El Bey”

Amunhotep El Bey

“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god. ”

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“If one million of you give assent to the one thousand who participate in the murder of a child, then one million of you are a million times guilty.”

Compton Gage

“If one thousand of you participate in the murder of one child, then one thousand of you are a thousand times guilty.”

Compton Gage

“I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?”

Jess C. Scott

“Please, touch me, I pray.”

Jess C Scott

“A true friend doesn't have guts; they beat you up and later plead with you to beat them back.”

Michael Bassey Johnson

“[novan]: bassists are very good with their fingers[novan]: and some of us sing backup vocals, so that means we're good with our mouths too...(~ IM chat with Novan Chang, 18, bassist)”

Jess C Scott

“He'll have that scar forever.Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.”

J. K. Rowling