“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
— Woody Allen“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”
— Woody Allen“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
— Woody Allen“I took a speed-reading course and read in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.”
— Woody Allen“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.”
— Woody Allen“Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.”
— Woody Allen“My brain? That's my second favorite organ.”
— Woody Allen“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”
— Woody Allen“If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”
— Woody Allen“Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.”
— Woody AllenLove is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
— Woody Allen