“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
— George Carlin“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
— George Carlin“It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.”
— George Carlin“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.”
— George Carlin“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
— George Carlin“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
— George Carlin“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”
— George Carlin“I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.”
— George Carlin“You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.”
— George Carlin“So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”
— George Carlin“How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.”
— George Carlin“Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom”
— George CarlinA house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
— George Carlin