“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.”
— Ellen DeGeneres“You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.”
— Ellen DeGeneres“Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.”
— Ellen DeGeneres“Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.”
— Ellen DeGeneres“Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.”
— Ellen DeGeneres“One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”
— Ellen DeGeneres