Famous Quotes by Al Bundy

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

Al Bundy

If you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.

Al Bundy

The only reason I’m here is because I’m married to you, and I’m too cheap to get a divorce.

Al Bundy

It’s only cheating if you get caught.

Al Bundy

Don't try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other.

Al Bundy

Let me tell you something, men. It's all downhill after marriage. You might as well quit while you're behind.

Al Bundy

I’m not paying for anything unless it’s fat, fried, or on a stick.

Al Bundy

A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Must be a day ending in ‘y’.

Al Bundy

I could have been somebody. I could have been a contender. Then I got a family.

Al Bundy

When you’re single, you can eat what you want. When you’re married, you get to smell what you want.

Al Bundy

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

Al Bundy

A Bundy’s place is on the couch, thinking about hard work, and how much he hates it.

Al Bundy

Peg, if you want me to pay attention, hand me the TV remote.

Al Bundy

I’ve always said, if you can’t beat them… beat them harder.

Al Bundy

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.

Al Bundy

Bundy’s Law: I don’t care if you’re five minutes late or five hours late, as long as you don’t come home.

Al Bundy

You think marriage is a word? It’s a sentence, a life sentence.

Al Bundy

You know, I had a life once. Then I got married.

Al Bundy

I’m a salesman. I know all about rejection.

Al Bundy

Nothing says I love you like a new remote control.

Al Bundy