“I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”
— Terry Pratchett“I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.”
— Terry Pratchett“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
— Terry Pratchett“If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.”
— Terry Pratchett“YOU FEAR TO DIE?It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break...”
— Terry Pratchett“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
— Terry Pratchett“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
— Terry Pratchett“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
— Terry Pratchett“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
— Terry Pratchett“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
— Terry Pratchett“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”
— Terry Pratchett“The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.”
— Terry Pratchett“Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.”
— Terry Pratchett“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.IT'S EDUCATIONAL.'What if she cuts herself?'THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”
— Terry Pratchett“I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?”
— Terry Pratchett“The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).”
— Terry Pratchett“What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.”
— Terry Pratchett“People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.”
— Terry Pratchett“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”
— Terry Pratchett“Listen, Peaches, is what humans are all about, said the voice of Maurice. They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.”
— Terry Pratchett“The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.”
— Terry Pratchett“We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.”
— Terry Pratchett“I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.”
— Terry Pratchett“Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.”
— Terry Pratchett“Progress just means bad things happen faster.”
— Terry Pratchett“A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.”
— Terry Pratchett“She couldn't do any worse, but then, he couldn't do better. So maybe it balanced out.”
— Terry Pratchett