“So many books, so little time.”
— Frank Zappa“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
— Albert Einstein“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
— Anonymous“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
— Bill Watterson“You might want to lie down, Magnus advised. I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.”
— Cassandra Clare“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
— Douglas Adams“Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!”
— J.K. Rowling“You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.”
— Rick Riordan“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
— Pat Monahan“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”
— Mark Twain“Well-read people are less likely to be evil.”
— Lemony Snicket“Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.”
— Zig Ziglar“You could say sorry, suggested Harry bluntly. What, and get attacked by another flock of canaries? muttered Ron.What did you have to imitate her for?She laughed at my mustache!So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen.”
— J.K. Rowling“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”
— Charles M. Schulz“Have you tried talking to her? No. We've been punching her in the face repeatedly. What? You don't think that will work?”
— Cassandra Clare“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
— Groucho Marx“Humor is reason gone mad.”
— Groucho Marx“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”
— Mark Twain“What's up? I asked.You tell me, he said. You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian.It was an experiment, I said. It was part of my therapy.What the hell kind of therapy are you in?”
— Richelle Mead“Oh, we're playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?”
— Julie Kagawa“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”
— Neil Gaiman“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.”
— Ellen DeGeneres“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
— Woody Allen“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
— George Carlin“People, generally, suck.”
— Christopher Moore“Can you be a girl for a few seconds?I'm always a girl I frown.You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girlI twirl my hair around my finger. Kay.”
— Veronica Roth“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
— Lewis Carroll“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
— Thomas Szasz“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry“I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.”
— John Green“Every morning when I wake up, I experience an exquisite joy —the joy of being Salvador Dalí— and I ask myself in rapture: What wonderful things is this Salvador Dalí going to accomplish today?”
— Salvador Dalí“Gossip is just a tool to distract people who have nothing better to do from feeling jealous of those few of us still remaining with noble hearts.”
— Anna Godbersen“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!”
— Chuck Palahniuk“It's just that in the Deep South, women learn at a young age that when the world is falling apart around you, it's time to take down the drapes and make a new dress.”
— Karen Moning“You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.”
— Ellen DeGeneres“Everything stinks till it’s finished.”
— Dr. Seuss“Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.”
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana“If you want to catch beasts you don't see every day,You have to go places quite out of the way,You have to go places no others can get to.You have to get cold and you have too get wet, too.”
— Dr. Seuss“My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.”
— Jim Henson“Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.”
— Kurt Vonnegut“I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.”
— Harry S. Truman“In the end, everything is a gag.”
— Charlie Chaplin“God helps those who strut their stuff.”
— Dan Sofer“You don't always have to kiss a lot of frogs to recognize a prince when you find one -Henrietta Barett”
— Julia Quinn“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”
— Stephen King“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”
— Scott Adams“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.”
— J.R. Ward“If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
— Chuck Palahniuk“I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.”
— Jess C Scott“The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”
— P.G. Wodehouse